i don't like sucking hair
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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