Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
