i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
