Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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