i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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