so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i came on her dog
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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