ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
