Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
