Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
