don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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