they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
