I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
