I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
