upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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