You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
