i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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