I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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