In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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