Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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