I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
