worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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