You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
