Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
