he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
