do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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