She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
