What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
