Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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