Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
