Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
