An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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