Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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