Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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