Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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