Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
