You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
