And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We left the knife in your bed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
