you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
