We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
