She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
