how can u be prego again
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
