Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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