that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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