you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
