these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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