also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
