I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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