He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
