I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
