I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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