you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
