it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
