U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sorry about my life...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
