No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize