Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm

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(660): View more from Missouri

I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!

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(404): View more from Georgia

Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.

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