White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
