please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize