you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
