why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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