good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
