The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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