My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
