I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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