nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
