Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize