His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
