The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
