so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
