wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
