Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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