And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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