brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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