I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
