i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
