There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize