Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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