she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm always down for nudity.
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